she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
