Will you blow on my dice?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
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I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
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Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.