We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
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she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
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Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously