just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
