who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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