16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
