I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize
