Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
