I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
