White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
