I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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