MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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