going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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