Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My dick has a subreddit
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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