So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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