I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
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