You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
