don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
