the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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