She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
