I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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