You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
