I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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