when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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