i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
