Pants 0. Shit 1.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
