Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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