i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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