If that was your dad, he is hot
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
