please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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