You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
