Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
