so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
