I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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