I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
