The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
