my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
