i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
