I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
