I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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