Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
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