The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
