my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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