i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
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When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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