you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
