note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
