how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize