She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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