She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
