By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize