i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
