Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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