watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
