Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
In other news, I just burned my penis
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
