What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
