On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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