remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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