.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
