im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
