im drinking this country out of the recession.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
